Three years on, Deulofeu is still fighting for 'miracle' return

The years have ticked by, three of them since he last kicked a ball, but every day spent grafting in the gym is one Gerard Deulofeu believes he is a step closer to a "miracle".

"One of the things I get energy from is that I know I can make history," says the 31-year-old, whose last appearance for Udinese was in January 2023.

Football is his passion, his job. It is the game that took him to Barcelona's famed La Masia academy as a child and European glory as an adult. To the FA Cup final and the unbridled pride of scoring for his country. Tying full-backs in knots from Milan to Merseyside.

Deulofeu desperately wants to feel that rush again, to complete what he feels would be the longest recovery ever.

But there was a time, the hardest time in those more than 1,100 days since his injury, where he could not walk with his kids, take the dogs out, drive the car.

What Deulofeu really missed then were the simple things.

"I lost all my personal life," he says. "That's the most hurtful thing that you can feel.

"Now I am just waiting to do a miracle to be back playing football. But I know it is so difficult to come back with that type of incapacity."

Deulofeu squeezes each hand into a fist and crunches his knuckles together to replicate his right knee. "My two bones," he grimaces. "They are shocking."

The former Spain winger had already spent two months recovering from what he did not realise was an anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) injury sustained before Serie A broke up for the World Cup, when his short-lived return happened.

After coming off the bench against Sampdoria some 37 months ago, he could feel the knee giving way and asked to be taken off.

"I played 15 minutes," says Deulofeu. "And there, in that 15 minutes, the ACL was completely broken. That was my last game."

Deulofeu first suffered the injury against against Napoli in November 2022

Had it just been a case of fixing his ACL - and Deulofeu stresses that is a "crazy" injury in itself, but one from which most modern footballers recover - he would have been back representing I Bianconeri more than two years ago.

Indeed, the winger successfully returned eight months after a previous ACL tear at Watford in 2020.

"You do the surgery and you change your ACL, your system, and you do a progressive recovery," he says. "But the problem was the infection."

That infection ate away at the cartilage in his knee, each scan showing it progressively deteriorating, reducing Deulofeu to the feeling of bone on bone.

"I wasn't the luckiest person," he shrugs.

He has consulted fellow Spaniard Santi Cazorla, who was sidelined for 636 days after gangrene ravaged his Achilles tendon, and takes inspiration from the former Arsenal midfielder's comeback.

"It is an amazing example," says Deulofeu. "To imagine how he suffered in these two years and a half, I can feel it now."

Deulofeu's first step was to have cell treatment in an attempt to rebuild the cartilage, but he faced a setback after attempting to run again.

"My knee needed to heal," he explains. "To train hard, first you have to heal."

Almost two years later, having continued with injections for his cell treatment, he believes he is close to trying to run once more.

It is a product of what Deulofeu says was six months of building "muscle, muscle, muscle" in the gym, working with a physio and fitness trainer for three to four hours every morning, five days a week at Udinese's Stadio Friuli.

"Let's see if I can accept impact," he says. "I am so happy because I feel the leg is really strong. The more muscle you get, the less pain you have inside the knee, so now I feel that, yes, my knee is prepared to run.

"I am feeling that I am close. If we speak about muscle, I am in the same levels of the available guys now.

"But let's see how they respond, with no cartilage and no meniscus..."

Deulofeu admits there were times he felt like quitting, but he remains remarkably upbeat and focused on his goal of returning to professional football.

"There are three really important things," he explains. "One, for sure, is family and home. To try to go ahead with this period, first of all your home has to be with peace and love every morning.

"Happiness, seeing your kids growing, with your wife, really good peace and love at home. That's really important to go to training every day with a good mood."

Deulofeu has represented Barcelona, Everton, Sevilla, AC Milan, Watford and Udinese in his career

One positive Deulofeu takes from this period is that he can enjoy more time with his family than is afforded to most professional footballers.

"In those three years I am out of my work, my passion, I can see how good it is just being at home," he says.

"Just being with your family, with your kids, looking at them growing and being a father, because with football you lose a lot of good periods, good moments.

"There are a lot of games now in modern football, every three or four days you play, and your kids are growing so fast."

His three children, though, are also the main fuel for Deulofeu to want to play football again - he wants them to be able to share those memories with them.

"My big daughter is eight years old and she is playing football, and my son is five and also playing football," he explains. "Now they are telling me: 'When are you going to get back? I want to go with you to the stadium!'

"That type of history with the kids, that gives me the power to continue and to fight for being there with them, enjoy that moment with them now they are older."

The second reason Deulofeu gives is his relationship with the club and the Pozzo family, who brought him to Watford and then Udinese.

Both parties agreed to end his contract when it became clear Deulofeu would be sidelined indefinitely, but Udinese have provided him with the facilities to continue his recovery.

In return, he is passionate about wanting to represent them again.

Deulofeu scored 13 Serie A goals in his first full season at Udinese

Finally, he is a self-confessed fitness obsessive. Deulofeu can be seen studying the science behind his recovery while recuperating in oxygen machines or during rest periods.

"I am really interested in everything about health," he says. "So I'm enjoying being healthy, you know?

"Being positive helps me to see life in other ways. I cannot think 'oh, it happens to me, I'm so unlucky'. OK, maybe yes, but I prefer to think in another way, my mind being clear and clean to go and suffer every morning - if not, you are completely out."

He spends his time at the club "with a smile, with my team-mates, giving them advice". He adds: "Just enjoying my recovery, seeing my improvements, I can feel more positive."

He is grateful too this layoff has come towards the back end of his career. With 350 club games spanning the Premier League, La Liga and Serie A, as well as four Spain caps, he has fulfilled a goal of which most only dream.

"Imagine if that type of injury happens when you are young? You are completely gone, your career," he says.

"So I am grateful to play this career with AC Milan, Barcelona, Everton, Sevilla... I won the Europa League, I play for my national team, I score. What can you demand more?

"Let's see now if I can continue my career or just be grateful to be part of 10, 12 years in that amazing sport."

After the interview wraps up, Deulofeu has another hour and a half on the bike to complete, before switching back into father mode - the kids need picking up from school and his son has training in the evening.

He gets too nervous to watch Udinese in the stadiums at weekends, plus he must rest for another hard week of training, but loves witnessing his children playing football.

"Seriously, I am there for two hours because I am so proud," he beams. "My kids' game is my game!

"Sometimes the coaches tell me 'come here to the pitch and lend them some advice'. It's funny, it's good. How to put the foot, how to pass. It is beautiful."